I can't say ... it's a secret

Late at night ... a computer not known to me ... and me left alone in an orange pyjamas. God i hate that. The loneliness i mean. It's what i fear the most, after death by drowning.

Yes, me ... i hate being alone. From all my heart. But theres nothing i can do now. Sometimes the thought that it might be my future comes to mind, and then the pain takes over. Like the weight of the world is on my gray soul. Pressing, screaming, scratching, suffocating ... doing all it can to make me tremble.

I read back what i wrote and it's kind of pathetic. I sound like an emo weirdo. I guess that is one way of putting it. I have 5% emoness in me ... kill me.